Whether you’re new to the program of recovery or returning after a relapse, the doors are open for you.
New and Looking to Get Sober
Taking the first step toward recovery is a brave move, and it’s one that thousands of people make every single day. If you’re looking at Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), you’re probably wondering where to even begin.
The good news? You don’t have to figure it all out at once. Here is a simple breakdown of how to take Step 1 and how to find a sponsor to help you along the way.
Step 1: Being Honest with Yourself
The first step of AA is: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”
That sounds like a lot of big words, but it really boils down to two things:
- Losing Control: Admitting that once you start drinking, you can’t always predict when you’ll stop.
- Life is Messy: Admitting that alcohol is causing problems in your life—whether that’s with school, work, family, or just how you feel inside.
To “take” this step, you don’t need a ceremony. You just need to be 100% honest. Many people take this step by simply saying out loud at a meeting, “Hi, I’m [Name], and I’m an alcoholic.” It’s about letting go of the idea that you can “fix” it on your own.
Click here to find an online AA meeting.
What is a Sponsor?
Think of a sponsor like a coach or a mentor. They are someone who has been sober for a while and has already worked through the 12 Steps. Their job isn’t to be your boss or your therapist; they are just there to share how they stayed sober and to guide you through the program.
How to Find One
Finding a sponsor might feel a little like “friend-dating,” but it’s much simpler than you think.
- Listen at Meetings: Go to a few different AA meetings. Listen to the people who speak. Look for someone who seems to have a positive attitude and a life you admire.
- Look for the “Length of Sobriety”: Usually, it’s best to find someone who has at least one year of continuous sobriety.
- Just Ask: This is the scariest part, but it’s actually a compliment! You can walk up to someone after a meeting and say, “I’m looking for a sponsor. Would you be willing to work with me, or could you help me find someone who can?”
- Temporary is Okay: You can ask someone to be your “temporary sponsor” for a few weeks just to see if you work well together.
Quick Tips for Success
- Keep showing up: They say “keep coming back” for a reason. The more meetings you go to, the more comfortable you will feel.
- Ask for phone numbers: At the end of many meetings, people offer their phone numbers. Take them! Calling someone when you’re having a tough day is a great way to practice reaching out.
- Be patient with yourself: Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. Taking Step 1 is a huge victory all on its own.
Taking that first step is the beginning of a whole new chapter. You’re not alone in this!
Deep Dive: Evidence-Based Perspectives
If you’re looking for more information on the effectiveness of the 12-step model and how mentorship (sponsorship) impacts long-term success, these resources provide detailed studies and data:
- Stanford Medicine: A comprehensive meta-analysis showing that AA is often more effective than therapy for achieving abstinence. Read the study here.
- National Institutes of Health (NIH): Research on the “Sponsor-Sponsee” relationship and its role in social support and recovery. Explore NIH research.
Coming Back After a Relapse?
Returning After a Break
Sometimes, life happens. Maybe you drifted away from meetings, or maybe you had a “slip” and started drinking again. If you are coming back after some time away, the most important thing to know is this: The door is always open.
Coming back can feel awkward or even a little embarrassing, but the AA community is built on understanding. Here is how to handle your return:
- Leave the Guilt at the Door: Everyone in that room has struggled. You don’t need to apologize for being gone. Most people will just be happy to see you back in a seat.
- The “New” Step 1: Even if you’ve been through the steps before, starting back at Step 1 is a great way to reset. It helps you get honest about where you are right now, not where you were a year ago.
- Get a New Perspective: You might choose to find a different sponsor or attend different meetings than you did before. Sometimes a fresh environment makes it easier to start over.
- Raise Your Hand: If you feel comfortable, share that you’re returning. You’ll be surprised how many people will come up to you afterward to offer support and their phone numbers.
Remember, recovery isn’t a straight line. Coming back shows a lot of strength and shows that you haven’t given up on yourself.
Free Step 1 Journaling Printable
I recommend printing this out or answering the prompts in a composition book.
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